Meine englische Bierrede
Wir mussten in Englisch ne Rede halten, wollt euch nur mal kurz zeigen was ich gehalten habe, ist mir wie ich finde ganz gut gelungen.
Ziehts euch mal rein:
Ladies and Gentleman, it is a pleasure for me to speak to you today.
Today I would like to tell you something about our beer and the war we live in. First of all let us go back in history to see how our beer was born.
Nobody knows it really, but it could start like this: in a land far, far away which was between Euphrat and Tigris. It was called ‘the land of the Sumerer’. There live a little, fat man who tried to make old bread soft again. He put his bread into a pitcher with water. Then he forgot it and the bread began to work. Some days later he drank it and realized that this drink was dizzy.
Now, our beer was born.
Thank God that there was this intelligent man. He gave us men the sense of our lives. This dizzy drink was and will be forever our liquid spirits.
You have to realize that beer is not only a drink, no it is more. God gave us men the women to satisfy our needs, but then there were more problems than before. So God gave us beer to solve our problems and the problems the women brought to our world.
But, what would you do if the end of our liquid spirit has come?
I know what you would do. You would defend the era of the beer.
And that is the way we have to go.
There is a terrible beast sleeping that we have to shoot before it wake up.
This beast is called Smirnoff Ice, Desperados, Bacardi Breezer, and so on. Or better known as the Alcopops.
This liquid, black devil came to destroy our from God given beer.
It is enough, my friends!
Many of you ask me: is there any hope? Is there any way to escape from the black wings of this liquid devil?
Yes, there is one, there is a light rising up.
Don’t sit on your chairs, stand up, take your money, run to the next store and buy as much beer as you get. Investing in our liquid gold will make the beer indurstry strong enough.
This little revolution created by the Alcopops can’t be the end of our liquid souls.
Maybe one day the end of our beer will come, maybe one day there will be only Alcopops, but that day is far away.
This day we will fight and it will become the biggest battle of our time.
We will fight till we are drunken in hospital, till we sleep drunken on the road verge, till we have 10,0 promiles.
Today we live in war, but the day will come when the beer has won. All people will have enough of our liquid gold to exist, there will be no family, no man, no woman, no girl, no boy, no child, no baby and no animal without beer.
Everybody will bump with everybody. The people will sit together in peace and drink till they are knock out.
Let our beer rule the world, then we are united, we are in paradies and we could all say together: “Cheers!”
Erst wenn der letzte Hub getan,
das letzte Ölwölkchen verraucht
und der letzte 2-Takter verschrottet ist,
erst dann werdet ihr begreifen,
dass man 4-Takter nicht fahren kann.